Thursday, April 28, 2011

Movie Review - I Love You Phillip Morris

"I Love You Phillip Morris" bills itself as a story so incredible it could only be true. What a bizarre, touching, and amazing story it is! Following the criminal (and amorous) exploits of notorious Texas con man Stephen Russell "Morris" is either one of the most demented love stories ever told or one of the most amazing con artist stories ever told. Maybe both.

Jim Carrey plays Russell here with a sleazy swagger that makes you both cringe and marvel at him. This is my favorite roll Carrey has ever played, actually. I hated his over the top Ace Ventura/Mask stuff almost as much as I hated the wholesome "everyman" he evolved into in films like "Liar, Liar" and "Bruce Almighty". Here Carrey is a cocky snake in Bermuda shorts and Hawaiian shirts. A sweaty lawyer in a cheap suit. Carrey changes many times throughout this film and yet the character he creates is a bold and interesting one. A man that you can not take your eyes off of no matter how off-putting he becomes at times.
Carrey's Stephen Russell starts out as a small-town golden boy. Living a married life and singing in the church choir. After a freak accident Stephen seems to "wake up" and realize he was never meant to be the man he has become, so he becomes someone else. Fast forward to Florida where Stephen is living as an wealthy and obviously out gay man with two dogs, a handsome boyfriend, and a pile of bills he has no way to pay. Small cons to pay for watches and cars soon mount up and before he can jump off the roof of a hospital and escape, Stephen finds himself locked up for his mischievous ways.
  
It turns out prison is the best thing to ever happen to Stephen. Here he learns about the law in the library, learns the ropes of being a model prisoner, and has almost free reign over the halls and cells of his new home. You almost get the feeling Stephen is glad he is locked up. Until Phillip Morris (Ewen McGregor) enters his life.

It is love at first sight for Phillip, who realizes the handsome stranger is vulnerable and naive. A man in over his head and in need of a friend. Soon he is courting the bleach-blonde Phillip Morris in a way that is both sweet and repulsive. Having other prisoners beaten up for disturbing Phillip or hiding chocolate in his toilet paper roll. The two end up as cell-mates and lovers almost overnight. 

The things get REALLY strange. Once out of jail Stephen wants nothing more than to make a life for himself and Phillip so he sets out to pull con after con that land him in courtrooms, hospitals, CEO's offices, prisons, and more. Each twist and turn of the story seem more over the top than the one before and you will not believe some of the things Mr. Russell did for the love, or his perception of love, for Phillip. Morris goes from passionate partner to unwilling accomplice several times throughout the film.
Phillip usually doesn't know whether to slap Russell or kiss him actually. Once again, maybe both? For as devious and weaselly as Stephen is there is also a sweetness in his tunnel-vision. An idea that the ends justify the means and as long as he can have his Phillip. It doesn't matter what kind of batshit crazy stunt he has to pull. How many people he has to deceive.

"I Love You Phillip Morris" is a post-gay "gay film" in my opinion. A gay love story where it would be just as insane if Morris were a woman. This kind of warts and all film about gay men is refreshing. Carrey's Russell is at times a closet case and at others a somewhat predictable southern drama queen. I know this film will have detractors who say it is full of stereotypes, but I don't find them to be done for shock value or for laughs. They feel real and ring true to this amazing story. If any of it is true.

Maybe it is all just one big con? A film designed by Morris to win back the man he has stalked/loved for two decades. While I don't quite LOVE Phillip Morris I would recommend it to anyone, gay or straight, who likes a twisting story with amusing characters and a sweet undertone.

3 out of 4 stars

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Poetry Corner: Advice To A Young Queer On National Coming Out Day by Dane Kuttler


1 - Learn to dance; it is your birthright and your heritage.
2 - Be proud of who you are, and we will be proud with you.
3 - If coming out to your parents is a stupid idea, for whatever reason, don't let us talk you into it.

Don't be swayed by our tshirts,
our cyberspace proclamations,
or our bullhorns - be smart.
If you live in a home with no doors,
don't set off the dynamite.
If you go to a school with more guns
than teachers,
don't paint yourself the target.

Staying in the closet does not make you a liar or a coward.
It is not your job to be the lone outpost
of unabashed queerdom, wherever you are.
You are only responsible for keeping yourself alive and sane,
and if that means coming out
despite broken teeth and bloodied fists - we wish you luck.
We understand.

I've pretended to be
the roommate, the close friend
in front of my lovers' parents,
and I do not begrudge them an ounce of their survival.

Listen, little hero, we love our martyrs:
our Harvey Milks, our Matthew Shepherds,
our Tyler Clementis, our gunshots
and bridges and fences.
We are so good at mourning,
but our vigils only comfort the breathing.

We are not coming
to your snarling school, your ice-crusted home,
your barbeque-firework town.
We are waiting for you, little hero,
in our sleepless cities and villages
at the end of the rainbow.
The ordeal and the enemies are worth it,
we will tell you.

But we are not as brave
as we tell you to be.

My own grandmother loves me more
when I only tell half the truth.
I do not begrudge you your survival.
You have permission to take care of yourself,
whether that means chatrooms, or knife blades,
or secret closets of the clothes you want to wear.

4 - Stay alive. Stay sane.
You don't owe us
anything.

Found via The Bilerico Project Website

Video Break - Somewhere Only We Know from last nights Glee


Squee! So romantic. Why was there a piano and a full string quartet at the school? Oh, I don't care I hearted this so much. Love Darren AND this song. Good job Glee. Good job.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Links: Stuff that amused me this week

My favorite, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, spazzing out on the set of Conan :-D
Mitt Romney Haunted by past of trying to help uninsured sick people - The Onion
14 things kids suspect about the adult world
A Handy Simpsons voice reference guide
A side by side Left versus Right comparison
The 10 most dangerously ill-conceived Amusement park rides
Hunky Marines dance to Britney Spears "Hold It Against Me"
Strange facts about Masturbation
Nerdy Superhero Power Chart
Man is totally relaxed as a tornado passes RIGHT OVER HIM!
The best job resume ever?

Sunday, April 24, 2011

8 80's songs that are totally 80's

I was a child of the 80's. I say this with some regret because if I had been a young adult of the 80's I might have been able to enjoy more of the Emazing music that the decade had to offer. You know how you always say the music was so much better when you were young? Well, I think music started to suck midway through the 90's and hasn't recovered. I like a song here and there but the days of turning on the radio and hearing hit after hit are over. Take this Billboard top 100 from 1987 for example. 60 of those songs are at least memorable and interesting. Now look at 2010. Not so much.

Here are 8 80's songs that are still great to this day! Some are well known, others not so much, but all are totally 80's! I wish music would get its act together and entertain me again...


01. Twilight Zone - Golden Earring






02. The King of Wishful Thinking - Go West






03. Total Eclipse of The Heart - Bonnie Tyler






04. Major Tom (Coming Home) - Peter Schilling






05. Heaven - Bryan Adams






06. Walk of Life - Dire Straits






07. We All Sleep Alone - Cher






08. The Breakup Song - The Greg Kihn Band







Hope you enjoyed my picks! It was hard to narrow my list to 8 actually. I love the 80's!

Happy Easter!

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Poetry Corner: Antigonish by Hughes Mearns

Meal Pictures, Images and Photos
Yesterday, upon the stair,
I met a man who wasn’t there
He wasn’t there again today
I wish, I wish he’d go away...

When I came home last night at three
The man was waiting there for me
But when I looked around the hall
I couldn’t see him there at all!
Go away, go away, don’t you come back any more!
Go away, go away, and please don’t slam the door... (slam!)

Last night I saw upon the stair
A little man who wasn’t there
He wasn’t there again today
Oh, how I wish he’d go away

Monday, April 18, 2011

Jesus is magic

I have Issues! My top 10 favorite comics

I can remember reading comic books as far back as I can remember. Living in a small town we were lucky to have a comic shop downtown. They were a dying breed back then and even more so now. I'll never forget walking into "Spuds Emporium of Comics and Games" and feeling so in awe. Everything was so colorful and engaging. I wanted to read every single comic on the rack right then and there. I was lucky to have a mother who indulged me (and later herself) in many of the comics I enjoyed growing up. Except for a brief time out of High School I have been an avid collector and reader ever since.

Now when I say that I love to read comics, it doesn't mean I'm not picky. 98% of what I read is Marvel titles. DC has always been too black-and-white and boring for me. I know you can debate this forever but for my money Marvel has always had the most interesting characters. Most of my top 10 are Marvel properties.

I don't have anything personal against DC. I enjoyed The Long Halloween, Kingdom Come, and Batman: The Dark Knight Returns. The DC "classics" I guess you could say. I think Batman has the best villains around. I just never immersed myself in DC enough to enjoy it to its fullest. God knows I couldn't have afforded to buy both companies books!

Anyway, without further ado and before I put you to sleep here is a list of my top 10 favorite comics. Sorry if I nerd out and lose you! Just a warning in advance...
10 What If?
One of the most creative series in Marvel history, What If? Was “hosted” by the supernatural character known as The Watcher. Whenever something monumental is about to happen in The Marvel Universe The Watchers big head usually shows up to see what goes down. “Never to interfere” as he/they love to say “Only to watch.”.
Peeping Tom AKA The Watcher
In What If? We get to see what WOULD have happened if some of the most classic Marvel stories had gone the other way. If evil had prevailed in most cases, although not always. Things like “What if Wolverine were lord of the vampires” was a common What If story for example. Or take the classic comic death of Spider-Man crush Gwen Stacy. What if The Green Goblin hadn't killed her? Would Spider-Man even be Spider-Man? If not, what would that mean for everyone.
Because Wolverine isn't bad-ass enough already
Usually bleak and depressing, What If? Usually had a pretty high body count. It was guilt-free viewing, like a car accident you couldn't look away from. Rotating creative teams kept the book fresh and you never knew WHERE What If would take you.
Grab her go-go boot!
09 Avengers
I can name all of them. yes, it is sad.
When you say “Avengers” it covers a large swath of Marvel lore that includes The Fantastic Four, Dr. Strange, Spider-Man, and more. In my view there has always been two camps in Marvel. The more traditional “Avengers” camp and the more risky other camp that includes things like The X-Men, Blade, Daredevil, and The Punisher. While these worlds intersect from time to time The Avengers is the behemoth that keeps the Marvel Universe in check. Usually led by either Captain America or Iron Man, it would be impossible to list every Avenger that has ever served. Like the US military they have branches as well, with reserve Avengers and West Coast branches. In the beginning there was Cap, Iron Man, Hulk, Thor, Giant-Man (Hank Pym) and The Wasp.
Captain America was a better title than horse-face
Other famous Avengers include Hawkeye, Ms. Marvel, Black Panther, Black Widow, Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch, Vision, Hercules, Falcon, and She-Hulk. The Avengers are the big guns and it isn't uncommon for The Fantastic Four, for example, to say “someone call The Avengers!”. They fight BIG threats and always come out on top. More recently the Avengers were revamped more as X-Men like outlaw characters. Foreced underground the roster shifted to the likes of Spider-Man, Wolverine, Luke Cage, & Dr. Strange.
The New Darker Avengers. Except Dr. Strange's Fabulous Cloak and Iron Fist's Popped Collar
Heroes more on the outskirts of superhero-dom. Still, if there is a big battle to be fought there is usually only two words that need to be said (usually in bold font) AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!
See. Works every time!

08 The Savage Dragon 
How do their pants always stay on?
Waking up naked in a burning field with green skin and a fin on your head is a real pain in the ass. I always loved the matter of fact way Erik Larson wrote, penciled, and paced “Savage Dragon”. While I lost touch with the series after issue 100 or so I still list it as one of the most creative and fun series around. 
I said creative, not mature
This series always had a “no one is safe” feel as at least 3 of Dragons love interests were killed. Main characters seemed to die every other issue in fact and I'd be surprised if I picked up a current SD comic and recognize anyone. That was always the charm of “Savage Dragon” for me in fact. Larson was a master at creating interesting heroes and villains (including a walking talking Hitler's brain!) but he wasn't so in love with them he didn't mind blowing them up in gory fashion for shock value. 
Most of these characters are dead now
The only constant is The Dragon himself who gets more and more pissed off each time his friend/lover/team-mate gets murdered. Savage fun!
 









































        
Hitler's Brain is a bad mofo




07 The Walking Dead 
This is Rick. He has giant balls!
After a shaky start I grew to love this horror-action series just recently. Following an ever-shifting roster of survivors of a zombie apocalypse, Walking Dead is probably the most in-depth depiction of what would happen if you were suddenly thrust into a world of reanimated corpses. That may sound silly but I've always loved “zombie” films and books. 
Well, not "technically" alive
This one is ongoing, so instead of the happy finale (We killed all the zombies!) or the sad finale (Hope is lost! We're Zombie food!) we get to see the brutal and sometimes gut-wrenching struggle to survive and remain human in a world where humans are a sudden and shell-shocked minority.
In the zombie apocalypse, no one uses deodorant
06 Age of Apocalypse  
Just because you live in a post-apocalyptic nightmare doesn't mean you can't have a fabulous costume!
Probably the best X-Men story ever told, Age of Apocalypse began with a frantic hunt for Professor Xavier's psychotic son Legion. Legion suffered from multiple personality disorders and each of his personalities had their own mutant powers. The unstable Mutant went back in time to when Professor X and Magneto were friends and accidentally killed his father! The X-Men failed to reach Legion in time and his powers “shattered” the X-Universe.
Who HASN'T killed their father in the past though?
The next month each of the X-titles was replaced with a newly named “Age of Apocalypse” title. All the teams were mixed up. Some heroes were dead. Others turned evil by the stories main protagonist, Apocalypse himself. This new Age was full of brutal struggles between the forces of good and evil. Age of Apocalypse Beast for instance, a brilliant scientist, was an evil mastermind who ran a grotesque house of horrors where he tried to create new forms of life. Villains like Sabretooth had banded with the heroes to take on Apocalypse. 
Apocalypse himself, looking impossibly regal and butch
It was a great series that I reread again and again. They have tried to duplicate AOA many times over the years to no success. Some of the best X-writing ever, and it wasn't even in the regular Marvel Universe.

05 Watchmen 
Worst Sears Portrait ever?
I'd never want to enter the mind of Alan Moore, but visiting there in comic form can be enthralling! Never is that more apparent then in Watchmen, an epic miniseries that was more gritty and brutal than anything before it. Creating a whole universe of Superheroes, Moore takes us through the sad final days of a planet sent to the edge of ruin by heroes out of control. It asks “Who watches The Watchmen” and makes you ponder what WOULD really happen if superheroes walked our earth? 
Lots of creepy gay subtext it would appear
Would these questionable "heroes" be lionized or demonized? In Moore's world they have been demonized and shunned. This leads to a murder mystery as someone begins to off older villains and heroes. The retired Night Owl and Silk Spectre form a ragtag group of characters to solve this mystery. Maybe none more mysterious than the post-nuclear nightmare known as Dr. Manhattan. A literal ticking time bomb, Manhattan as is detached and “above it all” as he seems. 
You would not want this man to stare at you
He represents the uncaring nature of this world and these heroes. In a world full of Supermen comics, these Watchmen were a wonderful break from the good guys always winning.
Who released the giant squid again
04 Young Avengers

All staring at Hawkeye's boobs?
The newest group on my list, The Young Avengers are loads more fun then their older counterparts. Wickan (young Scarlet Witch), Hulkling (Hulk), Speed (Quicksilver), Hawkeye (original Hawkeye), Stature (Ant-Man), Patriot (young Captain America), Iron Lad (Iron Man),  and Vision (revamped computer model) are under-trained and 9 out of 10 times way out of their league when it comes to fighting crime. They started their club for fun but soon they fond themselves swept up in the Avengers world sometimes against their will. 
Superhero pose-off!
Most characters here have ties to the heroes they idolize. Patriot is the grandson of one of the first men the government tested the “super-Hero Serum” on that eventually led to the creation of Captain America. Wickan and Speed are twin brothers who may or may not truly exist. When The mentally unstable Scarlet Witch married the original Vision (a robot mind you) she “imagined” twin sons who now resemble the two boys with the same powers as her brother and herself. 
Her imagined babies had a cyborg father and were raised by a cow. No wonder Wanda here went off her rocker!
Wickan is the boyfriend (gay heroes WOOT!) of Hulkling who is actually from an alien species, the Skrull, who hate earthlings. 
If the winged hat gave it away, the frayed scarf did
Stature is the daughter of Ant-Man who was killed in battle. Iron Lad may or may not grow up to become Avengers greatest foe Kang the Conqueror. My biggest issue with YA is the fact we only seem to get limited series featuring this group. From their debut in the mid-2000's they have only had 3 or 4 limited series and never their own regular title. Maybe this keeps them fresh, though? It makes me want to read YA stories more. Keep them coming!

03 X-Men Titles 
I can name all of them too... Code name and real name lol :-(
As anything that has been around for decades will, many X-Men titles have come and gone. Besides numbers one and two on my list below (also X-books) there have been DOZENS of other X-Titles over the years. X-Force, New Mutants, Generation X just to name a few of the bigger ones. All of them have had their moments of brilliance and moments of udder stupidity. Once I discovered comics I was drawn to the X-Men more than the traditional “superhero” books. The X-Men ALL had flaws. While they were fantastic they were also all human. Wolverine couldn't control his rage. Cyclops grappled with leadership. The Beast with the way he looked. Rogue with the inability to touch any other living soul. Storm with extreme claustrophobia. None of the X-Men were normal people. They came together under the tutelage of Professor Charles Xavier, who himself had boundary issues when it came to controlling his students minds.

The tale of these forces banding together to learned to control their powers so as to create a world of peace between human and mutant was an epic one. It still is to this day, although things have changed 200 times since I first picked up and X-Men book! Each new writer has his favorite characters and storylines. Villains they create now can't hold a candle to the X-Men's “Big 3” villains. Mutant terrorist Magneto who sees only a world run by mutants, Mr. Sinister a geneticist who has terrorized the X-squads for decades, and Apocalypse whose name says it all. Other notable X-villains include Sabretooth, Mystique, The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, The Hellfire Club, Dark Phoenix, and Mojo.
A villains convention or a Halloween Party in The East village?
Here's a list of every X-Man, from first to now: Professor X, Cyclops, Jean Grey (Ms Marvel/Phoenix), Iceman, Angel, Beast, Mimic, Changeling, Polaris, Havoc, Petra, Sway, Darwin, Vulcan, Nightcrawler, Wolverine, Banshee, Storm, Sunfire, Colossus, Thunderbird, Shadowcat, Rogue, Rachel Grey, Magneto, Psylocke, Longshot, Dazzler, Forge, Gambet, Jubilee, Bishop, Revanche, Cannonball, Joseph, Marrow, Thunderbird, Cable, Mirage, Sage, White Queen, Xorn, Chamber, Stacy X, Northstar, Juggernaut, Husk, Mystique, Warpath, Sabretooth, Omega Sentinel, Armor, Pixie, Karma, Sunspot, Aurora, Magma, Dr. Nemesis, Namor, Box, Magik, Domino, Danger, Cypher, Warlock, Fantomex, X-23, Hope. 
More X-Men standing around being persecuted
This list doesn't even begin to cover all the other heroes and hangers on the X-Men have housed over the years. Professor X and Magneto are no longer front and center, leaving Cyclops and Emma Frost (The White Queen) to run the show for the most part. I feel this is kind of sad.  The interplay between Prof. X and Magneto was always the driving force behind the comics.
Wake up! You have work to do. Sexy shirtless work!
The few remaining mutants (most were killed by a virus or “de-powered” awhile back) live like prisoners on a floating island off of San Francisco where they continue to have adventures that keep me buying, even if they don't always wow me.

02 X-Factor 
 Peter David is probably my favorite comic book writer. He is wildly funny, immensely creative, and has a knack for taking “B-List” heroes and making them complex and interesting. He has a blog you should really check out too! He took over X-Factor with issue #71. The original 'Factor were the 5 original X-Men. David threw that out the window and replaced them with a motley crew of mostly background characters who worked for the government under the watchful eye of SHIELD babysitter Valerie Cooper. 

This new team of Havoc, Polaris, Wolfsbane, Quicksilver, Multiple Man, and Strong Guy were as hilarious as they were interesting compared to the more straight-laced X-Men. You had Quicksilver, the son of Magneto, who made everyone miserable with his depressing personality. This was offset by the stupidly-named “Strong Guy” who always had a joke ready. He coined the term “homo-superior” to describe mutants as a joke and it became part of the Marvel lexicon to this day. Add to them Havoc, forever in the shadow of his “leader” brother Cyclops and his girlfriend Polaris, who had mental stability issues from the start. Speaking of mental issues, The Multiple Man Jamie Madrox seemed to have an identity crisis every other episode and werewolf lookalike Wolfsbane often had trouble keeping the animal inside herself in check.
Good enough a comic to ignore the questionable "art
Like most good things, this golden age did not last as David left the series after two years. I won't even get into how bad the quality deteriorated. This perfectly matched team was gutted and replaced by a group of reformed villains. I stopped reading all together when this happened. 

That is, until 2005 when David returned and relaunched an all new X-Factor which is still going strong today and always tops my pile of favorite reads. 
Someone forgot to say cheese
This new team is led by The Multiple Man, whose personality disorder has only increased with time. Only he, Strong Guy, & Wolfsbane remain from the original group but the addition of new “B-Listers” has revitalized both David's writing and the book in general. The new team includes Sonic-screamer Syrin, snooty perfectionist with multiple powers Monet St. Croix, Depowered book-keeper Rictor and his alien boyfriend Shatterstar, as well as the luckiest man alive Longshot and the ever evolving Darwin. 
They finally went there! These two had been flirting since the 90's. For real.
This new X-Factor is FANTASTIC! We have the bisexual love triangle between Wolfsbane-Rictor-Shatterstar (who may not even be gay as he is an alien). The heart-wrenching pregnancy of Syrin that ended when Multiple Man “reabsorbed' his baby that she had carried to term. X-Factor mixes social issues, comedy, and plain old comic book action to perfection. 
Beast proposing a duel between Multiple Man and Cyclops
01 Excalibur 
It's in England if you couldn't tell
 The first comic book I ever picked up and still my favorite overall. Like most books the quality and content declined and rebounded several times over the original series run, but the first few dozen issues of this comic are still a joy to read all these years later. The tale of 5 heroes who fight the good fight on the shores of England and live in a lighthouse, Excalibur doesn't sound that inthralling but the writing of Chris Cleremont (in one of his less crazy stints) and the art of Alan Davis and Mark Farmer were top notch. 
An example of Farmer/Davis mad drawing and inking skills
Excalibur tended to fight more extraterestrial or out of this world villains, with The Crazy Gang and Warwolves probably their greatest foes. 
Warwolves: dying to get under skin and assume your identity
The Queen was always my favorite
Gatecrasher was large and in charge!
A lot of my love for Excalibur comes from the roster. Four of the five main characters are on my short list of favorite comic characters as well.
Captain Britain: The British version of Captain America is more Tony Stark (Iron Man) than Steve Rodgers. Brian Braddock is a rich handsome playboy who has on and off issues with alcohol abuse. While he was usually the most straight-laced member of the team I have a fondness for Brian, who only appears once in awhile nowadays and was overtaken in popularity years ago by his more famous sister the mutant telepath Psylocke.
Phoenix: Rachel Grey might have the most confusing back story of any Marver character which is described in full HERE. From an alternate future, Rachel was the daughter of X-Men Cyclops and Jean Grey. In her future world she was the slave “hound” of a brutal man who forced her to hunt and kill other mutants. She found her way to the main Marvel universe and after a stay with the main X-Men joined Excalibur. She was the “hothead” of the team both literally and figuratively. With her fiery temper and damaged personality Rachel was always an interesting character and her friendship with Kitty Pryde was endearing. After leaving Excalibur things got silly, with Rachel going to the future again (a different future) to help form a religion and raise her brother (who was taken from this universe) and turn him into the time-jumping hero Cable. Now she is back in the regular Marvel U yet again, about 6 years younger and much more carefree as a member of the space-pirate group known as The Star-Jammers.
Shadowcat: The heart and soul of Excalibur, Kitty was the young and unsure “nerdy girl” with a heart of gold. Probably the main reason I loved Excalibur, it was through Kitty's eyes that we saw most of their adventures. The ability to “phase” through solid matter was a burden for Kitty and continues to be to this day. Forget Wonder Woman. Although she has been written unevenly over the years Shadowcat is a GREAT comic book heroine. 
Nightcrawler: Kurt Wagner was the oldest and wisest member of Excalibur, with a long run as everyone's favorite X-Man. He joined Excalibur after a sever injury that limited his mutant ability to teleport, or transport himself and others from one place to another. With the smell of brimstone and his signature “BAMF!” action sound left behind 'Crawler would be incapacitated or knocked out all together when he teleported. He still had his limber tail and sword-wielding to rely on but in the beginning Kurt was somewhat resentful that HE didn't lead Excalibur. As time wore on Nightcrawler got better and his fun-loving and deeply religious personality returned which made him less interesting actually. The longest lasting member of Excalibur's original run if I recall correctly.
The other member of the team wasn't a mutant at all but more of a fairy-type character named Meggan. I was always annoyed by Meggan. She was too perfect. She and Captain Britain formed the teams only couple and while she was pretty (some of the time) Meggan was just sort of bland. Not to mention she was emo before the term existed, as seen here...
She'd throw fits and start looking like this. Poor dear.
After the “original 5” started to leave the series suffered. Other members to Excalibur include Feron, Cerise, Kylun, Maura McTaggert, Amanda Sefton, Pete Wisdom, Douglocke, Colossus, & Wolfsbane. 
The lighthearted and carefree stories of the original series gave way to darker fare that I didn't enjoy enough. A casualty of shifting writing staffs and different “visions” Excalibur evenutally was cancelled after issue #125 after a 10 year run.

Well, there you have it. If you finished this geek-out I commend you! Hope you all have a favorite comic you enjoy as well ;-)